Pabila terlalu mengharap.

Assalamualaikum.

Di penghabisan hari Jumaat ini, tiba2 wujud suatu rasa yg susah nk dimengerti. Kadang2 teknologi masa kini boleh memberi kebaikan dan pada masa yang sama, banyak buruknya.

Sebab apa? First thing, kita rasa seronok bila kita dapat 'connect' dgn kwn2. even whatsapp ke, wechat ke, mmg happening kalau kita enjoy kutuk2, kongsi gambar. at the same time, sesetengah apps boleh cari kawan baru. enjoy jugak kadang2. layan mat2 yg nk cari teman ni. mmg fun gila. ayat2 dorg mmg romantik habis. penah try jugak wechat dgn org x kenal. suara Masya-Allah merdunya. tp jgn harap ak nk balas audio balik kan. just text. takot kalau2 dia tersangkut jenuh jugak nk melayan wechat hari2.

Cumanya...bila dtg bab buruk tu, bila kita bergaduh dlm apps2 ni. kdg2 x seronok rasa. xde feel gaduh dlm fon. kdg2 maklumat tu sampai x tepat. penafsiran pun jadi lain lah. and the worst part is, bila kita putus dgn buah hati. huaaa. rasa mcm nk campak fon je bila dia letak status mcm2 nk mengutuk kita. well it happened to me.

i feel like want to scrub off nama dia dlm chat. tp puas cuba x dpt. end up, the name still there and he keeps updating menda2 yg menyakitkan hati kita yg membacanya. keluar dgn itu, makan dgn ini, tgok wyg dgn itu, shopping dgn ini. don't you feel it's annoying sgt2??

somehow i think, inilah padahnya kalau terlalu meletak harapan yg tinggi melangit kat seseorang yg x pasti. even we know he is not going to bring this relationship seriously, tp i was like crazy about him and when things not going as what i expected, i feel sooooooooo sad.....

bila terfikir balik kata2 my bestie, if we really like that guy, we find him perfect, he's not TRUE. indeed, it is. finally i can think wisely. thanks fiza. sedikit sebanyak ak boleh melupakan dia. tp status2 dia mmg purposely untuk sakitkan hati ak. sengaja nk bagi ak sedar yg ak bukan untuk dia. x payah la. ak tak nak ditipu.

cepat betul dia dapat pengganti aku. habis madu sepah dibuang. that's the right word. dia hanya menggunakan ak untuk kepentingan kerjayanya. ak yg tolong dia sedikit sebanyak bangunkan revenue company dia. bila agak selesa dia jauhkan diri. betul tak kalau ak kata, kita berbudi org x berbahasa. sgt tepat nk menggambarkan dia.

Ya-Allah, Kau beri aku kekuatan.

dia memberi harapan palsu. dan ak dibayangi dgn kata2 manis si dia. mmg dasar mulut manis. sekarang ak sedar. harap x mabuk lg. cuma apa yg ak harap, dia sendiri sedar perbuatan dia dan bertaubat. banyak org dah dia gunakan untuk kepentingannya. bukannya ak tatau. walaupun ak dgr byk2 cerita negatif, tp ak diamkan aje. patut la ramai org berkata2. rupa2nya mmg camtu. akhirnya dia tunjukkan belang dia dpn mata aku sendiri.

terpedayanya aku. harap2 ak x jmpa lg org mcm ni. main hati dan perasaan org lain. irg mcm ni x punya hati yg ikhlas. tak tahu mcm mana dia hidup dgn cara mcm ni.

tak baik jugak cakap pasal org. sepatutnya ak yg kena sedar awal2 dulu.


wassalam

me gone crazy

it might sound crazy. but believe it or not, i feel like dreaming.

one day, i met a guy. the next day, we date. day after that, we get into trouble.

CRaP

crap...
missing something valuable. although it is legally switched, i feel like regretful for selling it. huhu. i mish ya already. baru je 1/2 jam berpisah, ak dah jadi macam ni. huhu. memang mcm ni perasaan lpas berpisah dgn kereta2 yg byk berbakti. argh. rindu gile! wuwu.

before this pon....

miss both. byk kenangan.

All I have is this Feeling

Heard bout this quote before?....

"I shall be telling this with a sigh. Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."

Sometimes I ask myself whether this 'road' is the one that I less traveled by. Technically, yes. But practically, unsure.

True, all i had is this feeling that is so unsure bout myself. My direction is led by others.

During these hard times, I think I dun understand myself well. I got mad by boss and felt nothing. No worries, no hard feelings, no effects. Weird aite? My heart stiff like kayu or besi. Maybe my personality affect much on my appearances. I'm not pretty and thin like other 'almost perfect' girl. Sometimes thinking bout that but who cares. I dun have boyfriend. Dun have much friend. I have a real humble and misery life. Like social life is not important. I can be called like 'kera sumbang'. Dun care so much bout it. Because that is what I am.

Like I said. WHO CARES?

Some other time I cried over these stupid things. Real stupid. Crying over past things that I felt so miserable. I should look forward from now on. Seeing others happy with their friends and family is seriously annoys me. Because that is somethng that I didn't get right now. Jealousy is my best friend and it's killing me. End up, I had my medical check-up one day and been diagnosed high blood pressure. What I felt is, this is what I get after suffering and drowning in my own world.

What a pity right? Lucky me, I have not lost my mind yet.

But, WHO CARES?


p/s: We always hate our life but there are people who want to live our live.

A Whole New World

Salam blog.

Akhirnya ada juga masa free nk update blog kan.

Ini pon sdg bekerja di hari cuti Awal Muharram pulak tuh. Aishh. Xpe. Boss x marah update blog. Sbb boss pon bapak sendirik. Keh3.

Sejak jadi workaholic ni mmg rasa x best kalau duduk rumah. Pegi keje lagi best. Almaklum lah org xde komitmen mane. Komitmen kat keje je. Keje dah jadi macam top list hobby plak. Ade ke gitu? Hobi ku bekerja. Hahahah. Dah xde masa nak wat menda laen. Dulu ade masa ade gak wat cross-stitch ke, maen dam ulor ke, mandi kucing ke. Skang no more. Kuceng pon dah 4 bulan x mandi. Keh3. mana taknya, balik umah cuma makan dgn tido je. Chores seme tunggang langgang. Bapak malasnye.

Isnin sampai Jumaat full day and Sabtu half day keje kat 'sana'. Sabtu half day lagi sampai Ahad keje kat 'sini'. Macam robot. Dulu Ahad part time ajar Maths. Dah abes PMR rasa lega aman tenteram sket. Dah xnk part time cikgu lah. Penat.

My new world

Now I enjoy and happy here. Segala tekanan kerja kat 'sana' aku lepaskan kat sini. Aku jadi PA tak bertauliah. Heheh. Aku leh cuci2 mata tgk keta2 kt sini. Hari biasa mengadap vessel dgn heat exchanger. dah puas ngadap menda tuh ngadap menda ni plak. Ni mcm nk promote jgak lah. Keta2 kat sini ok. Seronok mata memandang. Mana taknya, harga sebijik je nk byr bulan x padan dgn gaji ak keje. hohoh.

Ok seriously ni memang promotion lah kan. Hahahah. Ni 100% hasil kerja pertama gua kt tempat ni. Saje je lah nk post kan.

'A success story'

Not to forget. I also enjoy and proud to be here.

Drop by Asturi k.

And what can I say? I love working!! 'Sana best, sini pon best. hahaahh.. Mau sikit hari lagi aku gila. Keje je manjang. Bila nk dating nye. Oi2. Ak dating dgn keje lah.....

p/s: keje lah selagi ia mampu membuat anda bahagia. hohoh. peace.

Ditekan Kerja

Assalam..

Pheww.. It's been almost 3 months now. what is exactly I'm feeling right now. Fuh.. tertekan yg amat. ak rasa mcm x seronok sgt kerja... mungkin ni lah org kata dugaan dlm kerjaya. tekanan yg x habis2.

First month rasa cam seronok sgt2. Workaholic jugak. asek balik lmbt. tp lama2 mcm fed up gila. tu baru 3 bulan. hmm. mcm2 benda berlaku. hati x senang kdg2. buat itu takut salah, x buat pon salah jugak. jadi ape yg betulnya? mm entahlah..

harap2 ak leh sabar lagi dlm tahun ni.. tension!!

Kesyukuran ini....

uih3.. bersawang tahap bulu ketiak x penah cabot dah blog aku nih. hohoho. kotor betol description. wuh.. sejak jd bdak praktikal mmg x penah sentuh dah blog. apa jadi dgn aktiviti latihan industri 6 bulan pon x penah nk hapdate. hoho. bz kowt..

today is a very fast heart-beating day. this morning my friends and I went to the office to get signature for our appreciation certificate from dearest Dato. huhu. all of a sudden kene interview coz they want to hire 1 person. since we all da abes praktikal minggu lpas mmg this is a very good opportunity to grab. fikir punya fikir pros and cons to stay in this company mmg boleh buat pecah kepala. terima menyesal, nk tolak pon menyesal. huhuhuhu.. hati dah meronta2. org2 sekeliling asek nk takotkan2 ak. susah nk survive la gaji x naek la kene maki la. kalau ikot dgr ckp org sampai bila pon kita takot. tp tgh tgu nk interview td mmg berbelah bagi. nk accept ke x kalau dpt job nih?... keje ni mmg susah. lebih2 lg kene ade skil yg tertentu. but after that i thought, why not i try. lgpon mmg susah nk cr kerja skrg.......................

sudahlah Da, jgn nk pikir panjang lg. lgpon ni lah masanya I want to enhance my motivation. before this I only think about myself, selfish, sombong, x reti berdikari. but from now on I will prove to everybody, dgn umur yg semakin meningkat, ak xnk berada di takuk bawah lg, berada dalam dunia khayalan yg tidak berpijak di bumi yg nyata. from now on i have to manage myself and be a good employee.

Alhamdulillah, dgn limpah rahmat dan kurnia-Nya, ak akhirnya dpt kerja ni. mcm x percaya. ak xde perasaan langsong kowt. cepatnya semua ni berlaku. smpai nervous pon x smpat nk rasa. dlm masa satu hari, menda laen nk buat menda laen yg dpat. ptg dah dpt jwpan interview. Ya Allah. x duga sgt2. xtau perasaan apa masa tu. mcm kosong je. tp bersyukur proses nk dpt kerja ni mmg Allah permudahkan sgt. dgn pakaian x formal, otak x ready apa pon. main taram je nk ckp ape. mujur, Allah dah permudahkan jalan. bersyukur sgt2. walau kerja ni mmg mencabar tp x cuba x tahu. harap2 ak dpt hadapi segala rintangan yg bakal datang.................


p/s: jgn terlalu memilih kerja. kita semua ada hak. tp ikutlah kata hati. dan berdoalah pada-Nya. Insya-Allah rezeki ada untuk kita.